Friday, September 12, 2014

Wham Bam Exam

I promise this story is quilt related...eventually.
A couple of weeks ago Momma and I went out for one of our all day outings.  This usually means that Momma has a doctors appointment.  On this particular day she had three appointments within a two hour window.  Luckily 2 were in the same hospital.  The last visit was across town for a post operation check up on her neck.  No need to get undressed.   Now girls I love my Momma, but the older she gets the more she involves me in her "private" life.  And by private I mean she's losing her modesty.  Her memory isn't what it used to be either so she has been asking me to accompany her back to the exam rooms to take notes and for moral support.  So far this hasn't been an issue.  It soon became an issue when the Doc asked her to drop her granny panties and bend over.  That's not where her neck is, how did we get here!   They didn't even ask her to put on a gown!  The option to leave the room was never given, it was a Wham Bam moment and before I knew it I was traumatized for life.    A person has many things to be thankful for in life, my Momma's Wham Bam Exam is now one of mine.  Seriously this could've been long and drawn out, this is one time that Wham Bam is a good thing!

We continued about our day as if nothing had ever happened, putting the awkward moment behind us.  During lunch she tells me the needle threader I purchased for her isn't going to work, her eyesight is to far gone.  Before giving into old age and asking me to mend her clothes she decides to try one of those easy threading needles.  The only place I know that carries them is the LQS.   Visits to the shop are rare due to my inability to resist temptation so I'm more than happy to show Momma around my favorite place to shop.    As we pull into the parking lot ....I lost it, laughing out loud!  It seems our day out has a Back Door theme!  Call me weird or crazy but I took it as a sign to lighten up and put the Wham Bam Exam behind me.  There's far worse things that could've witnessed.
The Back Door is known for it's Civil War reproductions.  However in the last couple of years they've been expanding the brights section.   It was fate that brought me here.  A reward for my earlier good deed.... Moda's Miss Kate by Bonnie and Camille!  There was no hesitation I snatched up a layer cake quicker than a Wham Bam Exam and announced aloud for everyone in the shop to hear
 " I DESERVE THIS!  IT'S MINE! "
They all chuckled, but they didn't know what I'd witnessed just an hour ago.  I'm not even sure Momma understood.  Or did she?   As we stepped up to the sales counter Momma pushes me aside saying  
"I got this"
Mother's intuition perhaps?  Of course I tell her she doesn't need to pay for my fabric, but she insisted.  One thing I've learned is don't argue with Momma no matter what she always wins.   
So I've had this wonderful little bundle of joy tucked away just waiting for the right moment to unwrap her and play.  These smaller bundles of fabric can be a little tricky when writing your own pattern.   Finally after a few hours of play and lots of math, there's a pattern.  Hopefully in the next couple of weeks I can start cutting and sharing the process with all of you!  Yes that means another free pattern here in Podunk.  

~ Lea Anne ~

today's freebie 
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11 comments:

  1. Oh GOODIE! A free pattern! Are you going to call it Back Door Beauty? hahahahahahaha

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  2. LOL! The things we do for our Mammas! I happened to have a Miss Kate layer cake waiting for inspiration.

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  3. I guess your Mama was embarrassed, too. It's good she can rely on you to take her to the Doc, and the LQS. I bet she figured out how to reward you. Some Mamas are sneaky that way.
    Hugs

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  4. Thanks for the chuckle today. My sister does all of my mom's appointments with her and not sure if that has happened to them. Although yesterday she had the joy of taking her bra shopping, I'm sure that was an ordeal as well.

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  5. You probably put her through embarrassing situations as a kid, it's payback time :)

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  6. you could take up writing short stories as well a patterns Lea you tell these tales so well, The main thing was your Mum was not embarrassed and having a laugh about it later was just the medicine you needed. Seriously hope all is well with Mum now

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  7. Oh, we could be sisters! I enjoyed this story and am also looking forward to seeing the Back Door Beauty pattern!

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  8. Hillarious! Can't wait to see your new pattern.

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  9. I just had to laugh! I would have died of embarrassment too! I love the new fabric!

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  10. I had to laugh, about your appointment with ;your Momma. I have been in the same place. Enjoyed the story.

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  11. Oh girlie you make me laugh. You sure do deserve that fabric. Looking forward to seeing your pattern.
    Hugs
    donna

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